Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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