From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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