i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
