I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just threw up on my dentist
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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