that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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