Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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