Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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