Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
