yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
