I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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