we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize