I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize