you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
