Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
