It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
