Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
