Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
