I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
