nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
