Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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