i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize