Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
