Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
