Can Purell be used as lube?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We don't watch enough power rangers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
