it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize