Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
