we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't deserve a penis
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
