The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
