I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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