Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He did a backflip because drugs
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
