I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize