the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
