We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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