doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
