yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
