def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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