i can't believe i had my finger in that
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
