Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
