ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
BRING THE BAGELS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize