I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
