we're blogging at a bar
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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