In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You took a bar mat shot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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