He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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