you have to choose: penises or morals?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
