You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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