to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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