I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
