I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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