***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't deserve a penis
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
