Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i will never coherently bang her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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