I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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