OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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