i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize