I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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