I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
