would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize