Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
