gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
